Baby People

I knew this post was coming the day I found out that I was pregnant with Mac, I just wasn't really sure when I would write it...

But today its really all I can think about so it seems like a pretty good day to "talk" about it.

I am not a "baby person". 

That sounds awful considering that I just had a "baby", right? A beautiful, healthy baby that we are INCREDIBLY thankful for, by the way. 

I've just never been the type of gal to run to hold a new baby or beg to babysit or anything like that. I guess that just the type of person that I am and always have been.

Let's start with the positives...

There are so many wonderful things about a new baby...

The way they feel in your arms. 

The way they smell after a bath. 

The way their little hands wrap around your finger when you place it in the palm of their hand. 

The way their soft little cheeks feel pressed up against your face. 

The little coos they make after they sneeze.

The innocent and BIG smiles they flash while they're snoozing away.

There is definitely a lot to love about a baby....

but...

for the sake of full disclosure, let's be honest...

There are a lot of tough things about having a baby too...

Like the crying. Lord help me, the crying.

The gas that causes the crying.

The spit up.

The feeding every 2-3 hours.

The dirty diapers every 20 minutes.

The lack of sleep. 

The breast pump.

The time you miss with your spouse.

Granted those are all incredibly silly things when you look at the BIG PICTURE of welcoming and raising a new life into your home but to a new parent these small things can be overwhelming. 

Being a parent to a newborn is HARD. 

Being a parent, period, is HARD.

I know that EVERY stage of our children's lives will have parenting challenges. I'm sure that when our kids are teenagers, I'll be begging for the "challenges" of a newborn rather than a 16 year old. I get that. 

BUT - We're not there yet. 

We're in baby land - surviving 37 poopy diapers and spit up a day.

One of my most repeated prayers that I have said since I found out I was pregnant was to not wish away the baby days. I wanted to embrace this sweet time with our little guy. I felt like I kept counting down the days until Anna Lee would reach the next milestone during her first year. I felt like that was the "wrong" way to be. Like I was wishing away the baby days...but now...I don't think its wrong at all.

It wasn't that I hated her cuurent stage in life, it was just that I was so excited for her to learn something new. I LOVE(D) watching her discover new things and become more independent. I don't think I'm the type of mom who will be sad when my kids don't "need" me to do things for them anymore. I don't miss having to feed Anna Lee her oatmeal. I love the fact that we taught her how to hold her spoon and feed herself and I love watching her face when she gets that big bite all in her mouth without spilling a drop on her or the table. She feels good about learning new things and so do I. I'll be even more proud of her when she can reach into the cabinet and make the oatmeal herself. 

Another thing that Josh and I both highly anticipated with Anna Lee and have already talked about 6,000 times since Mac has been around was their ability to really communicate without crying.  

I like talking to Anna Lee. Really, I LOVE talking to her. I like talking to Mac too although I'm not sure he enjoys our conversations yet.

With Anna Lee, our relationship really became a "relationship" to me when she started talking. Don't get me wrong, we had a wonderful "bond" the first year of her life but that's different than a relationship to me. I love being able to talk to her about her day, things she likes and dislikes. I love hearing her sing. I laugh everyday at the way she says certain things - like how she can say "apologize" as clear as a bell but every time she says "kitchen" it sounds exactly like "chicken". 

When I was talking to Danielle the other day about all of this she reminded me that the first 6 weeks truly are the hardest time to get through. Your hormones are ALL over the place. Your baby is barely awake and when they are, they're probably cyring...let's be honest...its hard to really embrace crying. Well, it was for me anyway. 

I remember with Anna Lee, my goal was to nurse for 6 weeks and I truly did not think I would make it to 6 weeks. It was hard on me physically and it was hard to sacrifice the independence (and selfishness) that I was accustomed to having..but I ended up making it until she was 11 months old and loved it! Looking back, I can't imagine it any differently.

We love these kids with everything we have- in every stage of life...

Through the diapers and sleepless night all the way to the boyfriend/girlfriend breakups and sleepless nights.

Hopefully one day we'll all sleep again and hopefully one day they'll love us the same way.

That unconditional love is good stuff and truly a gift from Christ.